Category: Pain

The unpleasant, hurtful feelings, both physical and emotional, that we all encounter.

A New Year

Jeanne 2 Comments

On January 1st, I’m usually thinking of how I ought to improve myself. Well, today I feel sad and concerned for a number of individuals in my neighborhood who have serious health problems right now. One dear sweet young lady died last night. another lingers on the brink. Another young lady continues a valiant battle with cancer. Another friend is recovering from a serious accident that will take months to recover from. There’s a heart problem, a shoulder problem, and bowel problems. And so I’m feeling sad today and turned to a journal entry on Memorial Day that expresses my sadness, but also opens the windows of sunshine. I’d like to share it with you. It is written about my Dad.

“I visited your grave today…green grass, the monument, your name, the dates–reminders of a time when you were here. I can visualize your face, and hear your voice. I remember many things: places, holidays, road trips, meals, good times and bad times. I feel the emptiness of your absence and the sadness in it’s wake.

The pain and loss, I think, would be too much to bear, if I thought at all that you yourself really lay beneath the ground. But, no, I do not feel, in fact, indeed, I know, you still live on, the very same, just beyond somewhere. I do not need to see or hear, or even know the place. I only know you live again and we will be together–another place, another time.

I am consoled. I feel hope and rejoice in the reality of a plan that allows me the chance to associate with those I love so much forever, only to be tested with a brief separation that we call death, but is, in reality, just a mysterious journey to an unknown land.

I will not disappoint you. I will not waste time pining about the past and let your absence disable me. I know you would want me to care for others like you cared for us, and to create an existence with an abundance of love and laughter, hope and good things. And so I will revel in the associations I have now. Each minute, each encounter and event is a sacred opportunity and chance to feel and share love, like you gave to me, with those I love her and now.

So Memorial Day means to remember all those whose graves we visit, and to honor them by building timeless, loving memories with my special family I am so fortunate to share my time and space with.


Memories

Jeanne 1 Comment

These last few weeks have been very stressful to me. My son and family, who live 1.5 miles away, are moving out of state…probably next week. Buying and selling homes should not be this hard, complicated, or frustrating. The closing date keeps shifting, and requirements keep popping up. I like to feel in control. I find security in that, and when events cannot be planned, it explodes my brain and clicks on the ‘worry’ switch. I really do hope that someday I will look back on this time and tell myself that there was no reason to fret. Then there is the component of missing the grand kids, who I now see on a daily basis. Put all that into a pot, and I’m a bundle of stress. I really do need to make each encounter/visit meaningful, not just because they’re leaving, but to make it a part of what I do all the time. Make memories.

The things we do together
Store memories in the heart
Remaining there to be
Called up when we’re apart.
To remind us of the
Love we shared
In days now in our past.
They weld our love together
With a bond to always last.

Tell me what you do to keep in touch with loved ones, especially the little ones.

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Worry and Fear

Jeanne 2 Comments

I’ve been fretting over changes looming in the family. I don’t do well with change, whether it is good or bad changes. I like things just the way they are! My son and family (5 of my 6 grand kids) will be moving 3 1/2 hours away. In the grand scheme of things, this really is not a big problem, in fact, it is probably a blessing. But I can count thousands of questions, problems and fears, none of which I can quite get a ‘handle’ on. My feelings have all been turned up-side-down, and sorting them is really painful.

I lay in bed at night, awake.
I count the many ways
That life can deal a deadly blow,
And fear creeps in my mind, uninvited.
I search for ways to make things right,
But always come up short.
Sometimes solutions just aren’t clear,
And, hard as it can be,
I need to trust that God, in time,
Will make all right and clear.

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My Old Friend Pain

Jeanne 3 Comments

Over the last 3-4 weeks, my back has been quite painful. I finally gave in and went to a physical therapist, who has helped restore mobility and reduce the pain levels to where I can resume my normal activities. It seems that I never really appreciate health until I’m hurt or sick. This poem was written years ago when Bob broke his back. It deals with pain as a warning sign. I am wondering how people deal with chronic pain, day after day, year after year.

MY OLD FRIEND PAIN

Each day I live you come to me,
Almost always by surprise.
You have no thought of decency,
From my tip-toes to my eyes.
Sometimes you stay just a little while,
Other times you stay too long.
And when you do, you sing to me, a very painful song.
But, dear old friend, thank God for you,
For without your warning signs,
I would not know and could not know
Those injuries of mine.
And I would probably bleed to death,
Or something just as bad,
If you weren’t there to counsel me
By helping me feel bad.
So, my dear friend, thank God for you
Just one more time.
‘Cause when you’re gone, and I feel good,
That feeling is sublime!

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